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Episode 3 – What do you mean I should not drive anymore ? – an early lesson from Dementia Road

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In today's episode, we'll explore one of the early and often ongoing challenges that we experience as a caregiver, dealing with denial. I'll also share with you our experience on how we dealt with getting Shanna to stop driving once it was no longer safe for her to drive. Finally. I'll share with you a few resources that I found early on that helped to educate me on Alzheimer's and dementia, as well as taught me how to become an effective caregiver.

 

Some of the topics that are covered are

·       You don’t know, What You don’t know…

·       The what and why of Denial and how to deal with it

·       Our experience with getting my loved one to stop driving when it was no long safe

·       Resources that were helpful early on

o   www.alz.org – The Alzheimer’s Association

o   www.TeepaSnow.com -Teepa Snow – A positive approach to care

o   www.CareBlazers.com Dr. Natale Edmunds careblazer program and facebook group

 

Excerpts from this podcast …

Let’s talk about Denial

What is denial? Denial is when a person doesn't acknowledge certain facts or events, even women, they maybe seem obvious to those around them. It's really a psychological reaction that enables a person to cope with a difficult situation that may otherwise make them feel afraid, depressed, ashamed, or worried that there is a stigma about having a diagnosis of dementia

Now, denial, it can be looked at as a coping mechanism. Contrary to what you may think. Denial is not. Someone's deliberate attempt to deny reality. It's more likely that they're not even aware that they're in denial. They may have developed their own way of explaining or coping with things that they find difficult or uncomfortable to talk about or deal with.

When a family can't openly speak about what they're observing, because someone in the family, the person in particular who's struggling is in denial. Things can't be dealt without in the open and usually it has to hit some kind of crisis where then the conversations can begin. But at that point of crisis, the time to prepare has long gone.


Should your loved one still be driving?

Now, this is something that eventually all caregivers will go through with their loved one, taking away their driving ability.  For our loved ones you are taking away one of their last things of independence. This is a significant milestone on dementia road . 

What are some of my takeaways:

·       At the first signs of any cognitive issues, you should drive with your loved one on a regular basis, just to monitor how they're doing, and if it's still safe for them to be driving, it's better to be proactive and not wait until an accident occurs.

 

·       Don't argue with him about this. Don't let it become a wedge in your relationship with them.

 

·        Early on offer to start driving from time to time when you're together and eventually take over that responsibility once it's not safe for them to drive anymore.

 

·       If you need to hiding the keys, once it's unsafe for them to drive may be helpful to letting you know if they're trying to head out on their own, but be careful with this.